Change can be elating and terrifying and every shade in between. As humans, our relationship with change is complicated and confused. Change needs optimism – and optimism loves change. A perfect positive feedback loop we can remind ourselves of daily.
Stepping off your flight into the warm, scented air of your chosen destination. Falling out of love with someone. Falling in love with someone else. Aiming to eat 30 different plants a week. Adapting to new workmates, a new boss. Adopting or accepting a new government. No matter how ‘good’ we are with change, I’m betting that list still provokes quite a range of different emotions.
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day,
It’s a new life, and I’m feelin’ <… >
So, finish that last line for yourself. How are you feeling about change, today?
In the heart of a wet UK winter I posted that “ …change scares me. My heart isn’t from the ‘as one door closes another opens’ mould. Reading it back now it feels in part a confession, and partly a prayer. Truth is, by no means do I always feel that way. And lots of people seem to thrive on change.
Birds flying high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel
So how do we face change with optimism? How to embrace it?
Change is constant
It starts with a reality check. There’s something in our human condition that makes us want to believe the universe is defined by longish periods of stability, interspersed with shortish periods of upheaval – of change. May you live in interesting times is an ancient Chinese proverb, considered more a curse than a blessing.
Truth is, it’s stability that’s truly, truly rare. Whereas change is constant. Wait one second… and you’re now one heartbeat older. Over the length of that heartbeat, around 4 million worn out cells in your body will have switched off, been dismantled and recycled, replaced by 4 million fresh ones. And there you are, literally not the same person you were, even one heartbeat ago.
Learn to cope
From the scientific to the spiritual. Eastern traditions such as Buddhism contain what you can think of as an operating manual for human contentment. Not prayers but practices. Workouts for the mind, distilled and refined from a couple of thousand years of human experience. You don’t get to turn many pages in that manual before encountering impermanence – the constant and essential nature of change, and how to deal with it. And that’s got to be pretty useful, right? Because we mostly encounter change at an emotional level, not a cellular one.
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River running free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
The manual points out what ought to be obvious, but somehow isn’t. That clinging to ‘what was’ uses energy and causes suffering. I’ve noticed my challenge with change can take many forms, but maybe the most insidious is that almost reflexive denial: ‘Ah – it’s just the same-old-same-old. I’ve heard all this before. Old idea, new headline.” Pessimism and disengagement.
But we can all learn how to be more flexible in the face of change. A good metaphor is that while you can’t command the ocean’s waves, you can learn to surf. Here’s a short perspective and practice from Jay Shetty. It’ll take less than 10 minutes and if nothing else, it might be the calmest and most restful time you’ll spend today.
Optimism adds up
Having practised accepting impermanence a lot – and improved a bit – I find I’ve reached an insight. It’s just as rational to be optimistic as pessimistic. It feels better. It’s a lot more productive too.
An optimistic outlook encourages you to act, to ask questions, to engage and to hope. A pessimistic one encourages the opposite – to stay rooted, to assume you have all the answers, (and they’re all terrible), to disengage, and to feel hopeless.
The reality is that your thoughts are not going to affect events, but what you do just might. And it’s only the optimistic outlook that allows you to enjoy the here and now, and gets you moving. “The power of optimism is not just having a sunny disposition, but applying this mindset to make positive change,” says Laura Kubzansky, co-director of the Kum Sheung Center for Health and Happiness at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. “Optimism is more goal-oriented. Optimistic people generally have the perspective that with the right approach and right action they can solve problems and improve the situation.”
The links between health and optimism are still being explored. Optimistic people tend to live longer than pessimistic ones. Studies have shown that optimists have lower levels of cholesterol and inflammation than pessimists. Maybe because they also tend to have healthier, more active lifestyles. Optimists are less likely to smoke or drink too much, and more likely to exercise.
It’s hard to say which comes first – optimism or good health – but it is true to say that you can make a conscious decision to choose optimism, and to reap the physical and mental health benefits of looking on the bright side.
Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean…
Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean
And this old world, is a new world
And a bold world for me…
We’re all time travelling into a new dawn, a new day, a new life. We can learn to grab hold of them, and dance for joy.
What do you think?